No. 928: If Anything, He's Hit That Almost TOO Well...

Football has always seemed to have a problem with upper limits. Many have noted footballers' reluctance to be restricted by the draconian percentage system, choosing to declare their desire for 110%. Logic renders this impossible, of course, but its sentiment is understandable and ingrained in the fabric of the football cliche tapestry. Players, managers and supporters all agree that, at the very least, they want to see the full quotient of effort, grit and determination. A less well-established paradox exists, however. Borne out of the advent of the slow-motion replay, it represents possibly the most nonsensical statement a co-commentator can make (for it is he, rather than the commentator, who is most often guilty of its use). It appears frequently, and as follows: "If anything, he almost hit that too well."

£ 11.10

No. 745: I Need To Be Playing First-Team Football At This Stage of My Career

The common get-out clause for an out-of-favour player who's desperate for the exit door. Whether he's a promising starlet or an ageing journeyman, he'll claim that "I need to be playing first-team football at this stage of my career."

£ 10.80

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No. 928: If Anything, He's Hit That Almost TOO Well...

No. 745: I Need To Be Playing First-Team Football At This Stage of My Career